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Sharing some thoughts by Paul Heng
Since some years already, I have acquired a habit of browsing through the paper’s obituary pages. Each time with a heavy heart, each time looking out for familiar faces and hoping not to see any. Another of life’s many ironies.
About a month or so ago, I stared at the picture of someone I know, oops, sorry, knew. Someone whom I had encountered in school, and whom I met again years later in the company I used to work in. He was my teacher, soccer coach as well as a colleague in the publishing firm that we both worked in.
He left behind a family and many others whose lives he touched in one way or another, at some time or other. Condolences from many a personality were quoted in the papers – so were many praises sung. This got me thinking – do we do enough to praise, thank, acknowledge people whom we appreciate – whilst they are alive? Perhaps, yes. Perhaps, not enough, depending on the individual concerned.
I don’t think many of us will deny the fact that we take our loved ones for granted, most times. Some how, we feel it is a given that our parents have to take care of our three meals. Granted, in our society, this is true most of the times. However, shouldn’t we acknowledge and thank them for doing so? Or, do we do this only with friends who do us the occasional favor? Got you there, didn’t I? I plead guilty.
Before you know it, parents will pass on. Some of us may then start having guilty feelings that we should have done this, said that etc when they were still around us. Too late! Guilty again on the 2nd count.
Why do we wait till loved ones pass on before we start acknowledging the good things they have done for us?
Why do we wait till fellow colleagues move on, and out, before we start to appreciate the difference they made to our doing our own job well?
Why do we wait till our children have grown up, fly the roost before we acknowledge the joy they have brought into our lives?
In the context of the corporate world, there just isn’t enough of two things done. One, celebrating success, and secondly, acknowledging our fellow colleagues’ good work and contributions. I hasten to add that celebrations and acknowledgements should not only be accorded to ‘accomplishments’ and ‘success’. Efforts and hard work put in should be included as reasons.
Perhaps, bosses should build into their agenda, a time for celebrating little successes. It does not have to cost a lot time or money, a simple afternoon tea break with pastries or pizza should work. As for acknowledging colleagues, the rule of thumb is very simple. Do it when the deed to be acknowledged happens, do it as often as possible.
In our daily lives, there should be an abundance of occasions for each of us to acknowledge the efforts of others, such as, the toilet cleaner whom makes sure our visits are a little more pleasant and comfortable. Speaking about toilet cleaners, I must share this experience with you. Sometime last year, I was at the Esplanade to watch a local production. Just before the play started, I headed for the toilet. Standing outside both the gents and the ladies respectively were two cleaners. I noticed one thing immediately – a common phenomenon not dissimilar to riding the elevators. Most people would avoid eye contact with the cleaner, pretending to look at their watches, or looking down at the floor as they walk, perhaps in fear that they may stumble upon some pebbles on the carpeted floor and God forbid, trip!
As I walked past the gentleman outside the toilet, I deliberately made eye contact, smile and said loudly: “How are you? Have you taken your dinner?”. You should have seen the sight of uncle – he took about 10 seconds to realize that there was actually someone, not just looking at him but speaking to him as well. A smile gradually came to his face and he acknowledged that he had indeed taken his dinner. Gosh, I thought to myself, perhaps, I had made his day – and it took me a mere 2 seconds to achieve that! The next time you visit the toilet, do spare a thought for the cleaner in there, and at the least, acknowledge his or her presence. You may well be that odd few individuals to make his/her day.
Paul Heng, CMF, ACC
NeXT Corporate Coaching Services
A Member of the NeXT Career Consulting Group, Asia
Asia Pacific partner of Arbora Global Career Partners
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