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Article from Human Resources, Hong Kong, June 2006
Get Your Priorities Right
“Who is the most important person in this world?” – this is a question that I always ask the executives that I coach. The answers I get vary from: my spouse, my children, my aged parents, to my best friend. The answer that never fails to bring a smile to my face is: “myself”. You may think that I am advocating self-centeredness, but this is far from the truth.
Let me try to put things into perspective. On a piece of paper, draw a circle in the centre. Put your name in the middle of the circle – signifying that you are the most important person in this world. Now, if you think about it – there must be a long list of people whom you care about in this world. They may include all, or most of the people I’ve mentioned above. In addition, you may also include the people whom you work with daily, people whom you may have hired into your organization, who joined you because of who you are, and the personal values and integrity that you bring to your job. If you do not see yourself as the most important person in this world and take good care of yourself – how are you going to take care of the people in this world who matter to you a lot?
How can you take better care of yourself, and live a more balanced life. Here are some ways.
Health
An often asked question: “Wealth and health, which one do you prefer?” Answer may be obvious to most of us, but the irony is that some do not ‘live’ the answer – they work long hours, travel across different time zones many times in a month, but do not allow their bodies to have enough rest. The more care we take of our bodies/health, the longer we are able to ‘use’ it – just like your car. Yes, granted that the business world these days is really demanding, and many of us have to have a job to meet our basic needs and to put food on the table. However, the reality is if you do not take good enough care of your health, your body may ‘break down’ and then, who is going to bring in the bacon? If you are not already doing it, may I urge you to take action right now! Do not procrastinate, set up and stick to an exercise and rest routine. Get your spouse or loved ones to help you by nudging you along if you can’t find the motivation to change into your gym gear. Better still, get your spouse/loved ones to go to the gym with you!
Spiritual well-being
Regardless of the religion you believe in, it is always good to have spiritual access. Life always hands us challenges. Sometimes, they come in the most un-expected times, and sometimes, they come in merciless twos and threes. As human beings, we all have our limitations – as one woman political leader was quoted in the media very recently. When we think we have reached our limits, it is time to offload some of our “heavier” challenges to the Divine. Of course, motivational leaders and even executive coaches like myself may challenge you to stretch your limits and discover your ‘hidden potential’, but there is always a limit. Once you have off-loaded some of your challenges, you often feel an instantaneous relief on your shoulders and somehow you will feel much lighter and more optimistic to tackle the other challenges that are within your human power to influence. This is when you can be at-peace, spiritually and emotionally.
Financial independence
Because of the materialistic world that we live in, we can easily fall into the trap of spending beyond our means, and living a lifestyle that we can ill-afford. Of the hundreds of people whom I’ve provided career counseling/outplacement support to, a not-so-surprisingly high percentage actually face serious financial challenges when they lose their jobs involuntarily. Many times, they are the main bread winner for the entire family, and sometimes, extended families, rely on their bringing in the bacon each month. In addition, they have loans to service.
There can’t be too many people, yet, who save up to 70 per cent of their monthly income – like this 30+ year old chap that I read about recently. Since the day he began working, he has been doing this and has something like S$300,000 in his bank account. His financial goal is to save up to a million dollars by the time he reaches 40 years of age. Not a bad example to emulate but well, maybe 70 per cent is a bit too much, but the discipline to save is important.
One of the key messages that I drive home to undergraduates that I lecture to is this: “From Day One of your working life, begin a habit of saving – work towards financial independence at as early an age as possible”. Then, not only can you sleep easier at night but you can also do the things that you really love to do, and not have to work for work’s sake.
Family
Spending quality time and attention on our families is important, too. One of the things I’ve been advocating is this: “Never take your loved ones and family members for granted”. They may be here today, but gone tomorrow. Life is very fragile, and unpredictable. We may think that our spouse will understand why we have to travel so much and spend prolonged hours in the office, but the reality is that they would rather we spend more time at home, with them, our children, and with our other loved ones, especially the ones that are not getting any younger. They may not articulate it, but you can almost bet your last dollar that this is at the top of their minds.
Give back to society
To be in a position to give, is a much better one than to receive. There is no ‘best’ time to give back to society. When asked, most people would strive towards building a successful career/business and family first. Fortunately, we are seeing more and more younger folks stepping forth to give back to society. The pre-Christmas tsunami couple of years ago that struck many parts of Asia is a good testimony of this. We witnessed many students, and organization-led executives took leave from their studies and work to travel to the disaster struck countries to render help. Others that were not able to travel, took control and raise funds and collected sundry donations for the victims and their families. Giving back is not all about cutting a check – it is about making that small difference in some one else’s life.
All of us pass this way but once, do try to live a life of little regrets, and try making a (little) difference to at least one person each day.
Paul Heng, CMF
Executive Coach
NeXT Corporate Coaching Services
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