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Article from ST Recruit, 25th October 2003
DON'T SCORE AN OWN GOAL
An overseas posting can put a strain on a marriage. Just look at the Beckhams, says a career coach.
If you are a soccer fan, or like reading the sports pages, it would not have escaped your notice that soccer czar David Beckham and his wife Victoria are apparently having problems in their marriage.
During a television talk show where I was one of the participants, the discussion centred on his move from English club Manchester United to its Spanish counterpart Real Madrid.
As a professional career consultant, I commented that I was not sure if the move was a good "career move" for Beckham.
Ironically, it seems now that my suspicions were correct. It could be a good move for Beckham, but not for his family.
With "Posh" and "Becks" being very career-minded, it was a problem waiting to happen. Her career is focused in the United Kingdom, while his is in Spain.
Inevitably, there will be occasions when both of them cannot be together. This is where the problem arose, and could potentially escalate.
So, what do the lives of a famous footballer and singer have in common with you? Plenty, if you're considering an overseas posting.
For instance, job opportunities abound in China. If you are offered a job in China, should you accept, or decline, the offer?
Here are some key considerations:
Will you be learning and gaining more from performing the new role?
In any career move, the chief consideration must be the potential of enhancing your employability.
And you can have a better chance of attaining this if you are learning and growing. Otherwise, you will find that you are always contributing your experience and expertise and gaining little in return.
If this is the case, politely turn down the role, regardless of how attractive the offer is.
Of course, if you are near the age you have chosen to retire from active work, the considerations would then be different.
Is it a fixed term or open-ended contract?
What happens when the fixed term expires or you want to return? What job will you get when you return?
I know of at least two Singaporeans who are Hong Kong- and Shanghai-based respectively, and who want to return home because their children's education has become a priority.
But, there are no appropriate senior-level positions in the local office. Being in their late 40s, getting another job is posing to be a big challenge for both of them.
What is the remuneration package?
If you are going to a country where the living costs are significantly higher, like Hong Kong, a salary offer that is double your current package may sound too good to reject.
However, when you do your research and total up the sums, just paying international school fees and housing rentals can add up to quite a fair bit. And then there is the relatively higher cost of food. Generally speaking, food and fruits are more expensive there than in Singapore.
Is your potential new employer paying enough to support your entire family's relocation?
Resist the temptation to go there alone to try things out. Unless you are very marketable, finding an alternative role should things not work out may not be an easy option. Also, living apart can pose a danger to the stability of a marriage.
I know of at least two marriages which collapsed after the husbands lived separately from their spouses and children.
Always aim for the entire family to be together.
Is the new location an agreeable place for the family to live?
Hong Kong, for instance, is quite different from Chongqing, in China. Check out living conditions and leisure and social amenities.
It could be nothing short of torture for everyone if these are drastically different from what your family is used to here.
Even fundamental issues such as choice of friends and type of food are important. Do not overlook them.
In considering overseas-based jobs, spend time checking things out, speak to friends or people who have made similar moves, your career coach or mentor.
Career-wise, make sure you will have ample learning and growing opportunities to warrant the "sacrifice" of uprooting your family and being away from friends and family members.
On the personal front, talk things through with your spouse. If your spouse is supportive of the move, there will be more upsides than downsides for both of you.
However, no move is ever right if the stability and happiness of your marriage is threatened.
Article contributed by Paul Heng, managing director of NeXT Career Consulting and founding president, Asian Association of Career Management Professionals.
Website: www.nextcareer.net
E-mail: paulheng@nextcareer.net
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