The Straits Times, Young & Restless (by Ms Cheong, 8th July 2001

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Article from The Straits Times, 8th July 2001

Young and Restless

They're young, bright and have a promising future.  So why are people in their mid-twenties in the throes of crisis? Sunday Plus finds out

By Cheong Suk Wai

A GRIPPING fear of failure used to keep Mr. K. K. Chin wide awake at night.

Says the 29-year-old architectural associate: 'My mind couldn't stop thinking of work, which consisted mostly of being on the phone with clients who were screaming all the time.

'I'd feel like someone was squeezing my heart, and I was sometimes even physically sick.'

He has since taken 'baby steps' to alleviate his angst, including asking for a transfer out of his current post.

He was experiencing what some are now calling the quarterlife crisis. The crisis in question is a tussle between meeting the challenges of the real world and being true to oneself. It boils down to the plea 'I want to be happy, but I don't know how'.

Bright, young and with the world as their oyster, some 20somethings here see their daily lives as roller-coaster rides through a labyrinth of choices.

In interviews with 20 of them, all tell Sunday Plus that they dream of doing something they believe in, but are weighed down by the system and society's expectations.

In a speed-shot age, this makes them out to be slackers in the eyes of some older adults, adding to their stress.

But a new bestselling book titled ‘Quarterlife Crisis’ shows that angst-ridden 20somethings are not bums at heart. In fact, most speak of how their angst stems from their craving to make a difference in the world.

The six experts Sunday Plus spoke to agree that the quarterlife crisis has plagued all adults in varying forms since man discovered fire.

Yet Sunday Plus' most striking find was that a chasm of scepticism lay between what 20 somethings here felt and professional opinion.

Every one of the 20 young adults Sunday Plus spoke to called his angst a crisis.

But five of the six experts interviewed pooh-poohed the notion that angst was anything more than a natural transition period from the schoolroom to the real world.

'Doomsday', 'sensationalist' and 'flavour-of-the-year stuff' were just some of their responses to the term 'quarterlife crisis'.

Says clinical psychologist Harold Robers, 48: 'The problem is not necessarily universal. To term what is essentially a crucial transition period a crisis suggests that what is normal human progress is a disorder.'

The Singaporean adds that 20something angst may have symptoms akin to clinical depression, but it becomes a disorder only when it overwhelms a person.

Says Mr. Paul Heng, 42, the managing director of career management and outplacement firm Next Consulting: 'The new generation are in a dilemma, especially after dot.com fever. They see the Jerry Yangs and Sabeer Bhatias of the world and think, 'If they can be billionaires overnight, I could do the same. What am I doing here, slogging away at my desk?' '

Mr. Yang is one of the geniuses behind stellar search engine yahoo.com while Mr. Bhatia's hotmail.com changed the way people send e-mail.

Mr. Heng sees about 100 clients a year, 20 of whom are in their twenties. He says 90 per cent among the latter are crisis stricken.

Also, says consultant psychiatrist Brian Yeo, 40: 'Kids are moving ahead so much faster these days, so much so that they would have achieved a lot by the time they hit the quarterlife mark.'

Psychologist Carolyn Kee, 28, does not know of any rise in the number of 20somethings getting so angst-ridden that they seek professional help.

'It's more a case of 20somethings being more willing to speak up about it today,' she notes.

Adds Mr. Chin: 'A lot of us are walking wounded. But we'd never go for counselling. The stigma is too great.'

Says businessman Wong Yoke Siew, 30: 'It's actually a luxury to talk about a quarterlife crisis. Compared to my peers, people in days gone by didn't take things for granted.'

Agreeing, Mr Declan O'Sullivan, 35, the Singapore general manager of top headhunter Michael Page International, says: 'Affluence breeds options. If I were hungry, I'd focus on my job. There would be no time to think of the meaning of life.'

Ms Kee has this advice for the angst-ridden: 'Imagine that you are shipwrecked and swimming against the tide to a better destination.

'But the ocean is so wide, you don't know where you are going. You keep doing your best and yet cannot achieve the success and happiness you want. So, sometimes it helps just to ride the waves.'




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